


It's Always Been You

by weneebebe



Category: K-pop, Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Canon Compliant, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eventual Happy Ending, First Kiss, First Time, Foreplay, Friends to Lovers, Idols, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sharing a Bed, Sharing a Room
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 01:27:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24046636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weneebebe/pseuds/weneebebe
Summary: Since the beginning, Hyunwoo and Kihyun have had their troubles - but neither one will admit just how precious the other has become to him. When will these two stubborn boys face the music and see what everyone else does?
Relationships: Son Hyunwoo | Shownu/Yoo Kihyun
Comments: 19
Kudos: 172





	1. Have Mercy On Me

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for a friend on twitter!
> 
> *tagged for smut, but that will come in chapter 3! be warned!
> 
> have you signed wonho's petition? the fight isn't over yet! check it out here: https://www.change.org/p/starship-keep-a-member-of-monsta-x

“Everybody, hands in!” Hyunwoo - who’d been declared the de facto leader once they’d all gotten used to each other - rallied the others for a quick round of  _ kai bai bo _ to determine who would cook dinner and who would be stuck with the cleanup. A series of rapid-fire rounds later, it was determined that rather unluckily, both Hyunwoo and Kihyun would be in charge of cooking and cleaning up, afterward. The others slipped away, snickering playfully and wiggling their fingers towards the duo. 

Left alone in the kitchen, Kihyun started absent-mindedly opening and closing the cabinets, surveying the possibilities - stacks and stacks of instant ramen stared back at him. He glanced over towards Hyunwoo, who had knelt down to scrutinize the contents of the refrigerator, sniffing the containers as if trying to discern whether anything was, in fact, edible.  _ Even like this, he’s cute, _ Kihyun mused before catching himself and wondering just where that thought came from. 

The older boy looked up when he felt Kihyun’s eyes on him and gave him a passive look that said,  _ “what?” _ Kihyun felt a shiver pass through him, and he shrugged as if to reply,  _ “nothing.” _ It had been a long day of practice, the group having been split into teams, preparing for another elimination the following day. Everyone was tired.

Something tugged at Kihyun’s heart. He couldn’t bear the awkwardness any longer, so he knelt down next to Hyunwoo and bumped his shoulder. “Do you think we can bribe one of the managers to let us go out and buy some fried chicken?” he managed a smile, and the flash of his pretty white teeth seemed to disarm the older boy. 

Hyunwoo grinned back. “Maybe,” he sighed, running a tired hand through his short hair. “But, the others will be cross that we didn’t ask them about it first, and we don’t have enough money to feed everyone,” he sighed, staring into the middle distance - the back of the fridge. “Let’s just make some ramen and heat up these sides,” he rummaged through the shelves and picked out the containers of japchae, lotus root cake, and kimchi, gently thrusting them into Kihyun’s arms. “It’s too bad we don’t have any meat.” Kihyun groaned theatrically, eliciting a laugh from the older boy. Hyunwoo reached out and wrapped a supportive arm around Kihyun, and he looked up at him with friendly, wide eyes. Hyunwoo was struck at that moment by how sparkly Kihyun’s eyes were when they looked at him;  _ but maybe it’s just because we’re talking about fried chicken, _ he dismissed. He ruffled Kihyun’s hair and pulled him up, and they stood in the kitchen for a moment, unsure of what to do now. 

The boys shared a knowing look, and the rumbling in their stomachs made them laugh, at least a little. 

They also shared a warmth in their middles - but the night was gaining on them and they were too tired to acknowledge anything in their hearts beyond the need for food, and sleep. Whatever it was that made Hyunwoo’s heart skip a beat when Kihyun looked at him with wide eyes, whatever it was that made Kihyun’s breath hitch when he watched Hyunwoo stretch his honeyed, muscular arms over his chest, it would have to wait until they were ready to face it. 

But not yet. 

**_After Elimination Night_ **

_ “Oh my god!  _ Will you move your fucking giant body  _ out _ of my way!” Kihyun complained through tired, gritted teeth. The kitchen was small enough when it was empty, but now with Hyunwoo’s tall, broad body moving about the space like a disoriented bumblebee, it was even smaller. 

“What  _ now?” _ Hyunwoo spat back. “I’m just trying to help you clean up!” He threw down the dishtowel he’d been holding. “You’re  _ such _ a fucking control freak, Ki!” Hyunwoo knocked the shorter boy’s shoulder with his own. “Clean up the kitchen on your own, then,” he muttered. “You’re just going to go over whatever I clean, anyway,” he stomped off in a huff. Kihyun turned to go after him, but thought better of it - he picked up the dish towel that had been flung in his direction; held it in his fist for a moment before exhaling. He closed his eyes and counted to ten. When he opened them again, Minhyuk had appeared, leaning against the counter and munching on what was left of the pickled vegetables. 

“You shouldn’t have done that,” he said softly. “Everyone is tired and on edge, Ki.” His voice was not chastising, not judgemental; just tired. He took the towel from Kihyun and began to dry the dishes that had been left by Hyunwoo. 

“I know, I know,” Kihyun sighed again. “Elimination days are the fucking worst.” He felt the corners of his eyes grow hot with tears; even saying the words made him want to scream. “I shouldn’t have gone off on him like that. It’s not his fault his body takes up space. This kitchen is too fucking small.”

“He’s gorgeous,” Minhyuk nodded, humming. “Hyunwoo’s body is no joke,” he agreed, a little smile on his lips. “Have you  _ seen him _ without his shirt?” 

Kihyun choked a little laugh at that. “Of course I have,” his cheeks suddenly felt hot. “We’ve all seen each other naked,” he reminded him. “You more than most, though,” he teased a little. “You and Jooheon are really doing this? Even though one of you might not be here in the end?”

Minhyuk smiled, a little sadly at Kihyun’s words. “What can I say?” he shrugged. “We fell in love so fast. Even if neither of us makes it, I think we’d be happy; because we found each other. And that’s worth more than any kind of fame we might never even get.” 

Kihyun’s heart grew two sizes, hearing Minhyuk speak about Jooheon like that. “You two really are made for each other,” he agreed. And then, he spoke aloud what he knew Minhyuk was thinking. “Don’t worry,” he patted his arm, “none of us in the house will breathe a word of it to anyone, you know that.”

“I know,” Minhyuk nodded, eyes thankful for Kihyun’s honesty. He finished drying the dish in his hands and placed it carefully back on the shelf. “Ki, you should go and apologize to hyung,” he picked up another dish to dry. “I’ll finish cleaning.”

Kihyun thought about it for a moment but agreed with a shrug. “I will,” he said finally, squeezing Minhyuk’s shoulder. “Thanks,” he smiled. 

“You’ll owe me another time,” Minhyuk replied brightly. “Now go,” he pointed with his chin. “Before he falls asleep. It’s been a long day.”

*

Kihyun inhaled sharply as he held out his hand, knuckles poised to knock on the closed bedroom door. Before he even made contact with the wood, Hyunwoo’s voice came from the other side. “Come in, Ki.” 

_ So he was waiting for me to follow him after all, _ Kihyun wondered as he slowly, almost reverently opened the door.  _ Thank god it’s just the two of us… Hoseok and Changkyun must have slipped out to go practice. I’m glad I won’t have an audience. _ “Hey,” Kihyun said, at last, standing in front of the bunk bed, Hyunwoo perched on the top; limbs splayed out like a sleeping toddler. It was almost enough to make Kihyun smile. “Listen, hyung,” he began, but Hyunwoo held up a hand to stop him mid-sentence. 

“I’m sorry,” Hyunwoo said first, throwing Kihyun off a little. “I shouldn’t have stormed off.”

Kihyun’s eyes widened, and he cocked his head. “I should be the one apologizing,” he admitted, confused as to why the older boy felt he needed to apologize first. He held onto the upper bed frame, leaning on his heels in Hyunwoo’s direction. “Tonight was… really hard,” he sighed, speaking aloud the obvious. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. You were helping me clean, and I should have been more grateful.” He looked earnestly into Hyunwoo’s eyes, hoping that his feelings would be understood. 

Hyunwoo nodded, shifting on the mattress so that the boys were face to face, just inches apart now. “I’m sorry for yelling back. We don’t need that in the house right now, I was being stupid. It puts everyone else on edge, and it’s not fair. I’m sorry.” Hyunwoo’s eyes looked tired; something in the way they stared back at Kihyun made his heart hurt. Before he could think too long about it, Hyunwoo slid carefully off the bed and stood next to Kihyun. “So,” he smiled bashfully. “Truce?” He held his arms out, and Kihyun smiled into an embrace. Hyunwoo’s strong arms around him made him feel safe; he breathed in the lingering scent of his cologne, still clinging to him even after hours of dance practice. He held fast to Hyunwoo’s loose t-shirt, and suddenly, the tears he’d been keeping at bay for most of the night finally began to fall. Hyunwoo didn’t startle at Kihyun’s sudden change; instead, he tightened his grip on the younger man, and curled a gentle hand at the base of his neck, stroking his hair. “It’s all going to be okay, Ki,” he whispered gently. “We’re all going to be okay. We’ll make it.”

Kihyun sniffled a little, his face nestled in the crook of Hyunwoo’s neck. “How do you know?” he asked, voice made small with the embarrassment of crying in front of someone else. “I’m so tired, hyung…” he rolled his head off the other boy’s shoulder and held his gaze. Hyunwoo’s heart broke into pieces to see Kihyun like this; so much so that he could not help what he did next. 

Taking Kihyun’s face gently in his hands, he pressed their foreheads together and looked into his eyes. “I’m tired, too,” he breathed. “But I know it’s all going to be okay,” he searched the other boy’s eyes for understanding. “Do you believe me?” he asked slowly, watching as Kihyun nodded obediently, his eyes flitting from his own gaze down to his parted lips and up and down again. Hyunwoo knew that look.  _ Fuck it, _ he gave in. Closing his eyes and the space between them, he pressed a gentle kiss to Kihyun’s lips, and immediately felt the other boy melt into his arms.  _ Oh, _ he realized.  _ Oh. _

They stayed like that, arms around each other, clinging to the fabric of each other’s shirts as if to keep them steady, softly kissing; Kihyun let his hands wander to wrap loosely around Hyunwoo’s neck, anchoring him to the older man.  _ This is… new, _ he mused, not wanting to pull away.  _ He tastes so sweet.  _ He felt Hyunwoo smile into the kiss, and it made his own lips curl into a satisfied grin, too.

Suddenly, a loud, obnoxious knock at the door forced them apart; they practically flung themselves to opposite ends of the room at the noise. 

“Have you made up yet?” Minhyuk’s voice called from the other side. “Manager’s here, he’s got letters from viewers for us!” 

The boys sheepishly looked at each other, unsure of what to do. Hyunwoo cleared his throat. “Coming,” he replied, eyes darting back to Kihyun. Without another word, he left the bedroom, keeping the door open for Kihyun to follow.

_ Shit, _ Kihyun cursed himself.  _ Now what? _


	2. Knock Knock, I'm Coming In Now

The dorm was full of life - it was the evening of their first anniversary and they had planned to get delightfully drunk to celebrate. Boxes of fried chicken, now long-empty, littered the floor and coffee table in the living room, where the seven boys all sat on the floor. Everyone was in high spirits; whether it was the joy of the occasion or the bottles of soju, they would be hard-pressed to tell the difference. Music played softly from one corner of the room, and the rising moon’s silver rays crept across the floor. Strings of fairy lights - having been impulsively taped across the ceiling by Jooheon and Minhyuyk a few weeks prior - twinkled prettily and gave the room a gentle glow. 

Amid the chatter and the word games, Hoseok leaned back on his hands and rolled his gaze over to Hyunwoo. “Hyung, can you make me some ramen?” he fluttered his eyelashes, making puppy eyes at their leader. 

“You just ate a massive dinner!” He laughed, playfully thwacking his shoulder. That did not deter Hoseok; he puffed out his cheeks cutely and gave Hyunwoo a finger-heart. Hyunwoo, though, was unmoved; he flicked Hoseok’s forehead. 

“Actually, I could go for some noodles too,” Hyungwon came to Hoseok’s rescue, sliding next to him and leaning his chin against his shoulder, cheeks delightfully pink from just a little too much alcohol. 

Hyunwoo knew when he was beaten; he sighed, pretending to be put-out. “Alright,” he smiled warmly at the others. “Who else wants some?”

Six hands rose, and all seven broke out in laughter. 

*

With most of the boys having finally fallen asleep - either on the sofa or in their beds, it didn’t really matter; their manager gave them the following day off - Kihyun was left to tidy the space. It’s not that he was made to be the last one up, forced to clean; it was more that he could not sleep well knowing they’d left a mess of packaging and half-empty soju bottles strewn about the floor. As he gathered the empty packets of chips in his arms, his thoughts were interrupted by a rustling from the washroom. 

“Oh, hyung,” he turned to see Hyunwoo emerge from the washroom, having splashed some water on his face. “I thought you’d gone to sleep,” he offered his leader the last swig of peach soju from the bottle he’d been holding. Hyunwoo took it and downed it in one. 

“I’ll help you,” he offered, pulling Kihyun up to his feet before bending down himself, and gathering the empty boxes of what had been their dinner. 

They fell into a familiar rhythm of cleaning - over time, the pair had grown into their labels of the “mother and father” of their group, and had become used to being the last awake to tidy the mess the others made. Music still played softly from the now-forgotten iPod, resting in the dock on a faraway side table. Without words, Hyunwoo extended a hand to Kihyun, his eyes saying,  _ “dance with me?” _ His own cheeks were flushed a pretty shade of pink from having drunk just a little too much; and why not? Tonight was worth celebrating, after all. Kihyun, a little dizzy from drink himself, set down the rubbish he was holding and took Hyunwoo’s hand. 

“Hyung?” he questioned, but only half-heartedly; he let himself be swept into the older boy’s arms and they began to lazily sway to the music, an old ballad; a favourite of Minhyuk’s, probably. 

“Just felt like dancing,” Hyunwoo admitted, his skin hot to the touch - though he held his alcohol better than most, his flushed skin betrayed him. Kihyun laughed a little at how capricious the older boy was when he drank. “That okay with you,  _ mommy?” _ he laughed at the nickname, long ago given to him by a very pouty Jooheon after he’d been forced to help do the laundry. 

Kihyun grinned. “Yeah,  _ daddy,” _ he teased back. “I wonder if the kids will sleep in tomorrow,” he added, extending the metaphor. His head felt a little heavy; he rested it against Hyunwoo’s strong chest. Hyunwoo instinctively wrapped his arms around Kihyun then, and they continued to sway. 

“It’ll be fine if they wake with a little hangover, we’re not booked,” he mused, scanning the mess that still lay in front of them. He sighed a little. “Can we finish cleaning up tomorrow? My head’s pounding,” he coaxed Kihyun’s head off his chest so they could properly look at each other. “Too tired to finish now. There’s no food left to go bad if we leave it now.”

Kihyun hated leaving a mess - but he nodded in agreement, feeling the effects of the alcohol on his own heavy head, too. “I’ll probably end up getting up before all of you to finish cleaning it up,” he joked. “I might have nightmares about soda cans and fried chicken chasing me.”

That made Hyunwoo laugh in earnest. “Let’s just get some sleep, Ki,” he tugged a little on Kihyun’s shirt. “For once, don’t think about keeping house. We’re celebrating an anniversary, remember?”

Kihyun smiled. “We really made it,” he said after a moment of thought. “You were right.”

“Told you,” he replied, ruffling Kihyun’s hair. “Come on now, time for bed. We can deal with this in the morning.” Hyunwoo led Kihyun by the hand towards their shared bedroom, and without another word, they slipped into their beds - Hyunwoo on the top bunk, Kihyun on the bottom. 

Within moments, the room was a chorus of snores. 

*

After about an hour, Hyunwoo woke up from a strange dream - it wasn’t a nightmare exactly, but whatever it had been, his heart was racing. Rolling onto his side, he checked the time on his phone.  _ God, it’s not even 5am, _ he sighed. He suddenly felt restless; he stretched his arms and legs out in the small bed, and flexed his fingers in front of his face, his eyes adjusting to the darkness. Somewhere beyond the window, a bird had begun to chirp.  _ Who are you talking to at this hour, hmm? _ He mused, playfully.  _ Are you a night owl like me? _ He sighed again, pressing his palms to his cheeks, still a little warm from having drunk so much. He heard Kihyun shift a little in the bed beneath him, and without thinking, he carefully, quietly slid down and off his bed and stood for a moment by Kihyun, gently snoring. 

_ What am I doing? _ He asked himself. Before he could second-guess himself, he felt a hand reach out and touch his thigh; Kihyun had woken up. 

“Hyung, what…” he began, barely moving his lips, eyes still closed. “Just come here,” he muttered, shifting the blanket and sliding further in so that Hyunwoo could join him. The older boy complied and was pleasantly surprised when Kihyun pulled him in close, like a child needing comfort from his favourite teddy bear. Hyunwoo sighed contentedly and soon found himself drifting back to sleep, listening to Kihyun’s soft, measured breathing. 

From across the room, Hyungwon watched the scene unfolding in front of him with a gentle smile on his face; he rolled over onto his back and let sleep overtake him soon after. 

*

Whether they were prepared for it or not, soon the sun began to peek through the half-opened curtains and stirred the boys awake. Hyungwon woke first, and gently pulled on Hoseok’s arm, dangling off the top bunk. “Look how cute,” he whispered to the older boy. “Quick, take a picture,” he pointed with his chin. Hoseok blinked awake and strained his eyes to see just what Hyungwon was talking about. Gracelessly pushing his glasses onto his face, he smiled once he registered what he was looking at. He quickly fumbled for his phone and snapped a few photos: Hyunwoo spooning Kihyun, who’d turned and seemed to have burrowed against the leader’s chest, the duvet nestled snugly around them both like a pair of sleeping infants. 

“How long has that been going on?” Hoseok mouthed, careful not to wake the pair. Hyungwon shrugged and kissed Hoseok’s cheek. 

“Let’s get up and make coffee for everyone,” Hyungwon replied. “Pretend you didn’t see anything,” he cautioned sweetly. Hoseok nodded, and they slipped out of their bedroom to go make coffee. 

*

That was five nights ago; and for the last five nights, both Hyunwoo and Kihyun had taken turns climbing into the other boy’s bed; they didn’t really talk about it - and neither did Hoseok or Hyungwon - but it had become routine now, and perhaps they were past the point of talking about it. 

Tonight, though, something seemed to change. Kihyun gingerly climbed up into Hyunwoo’s bed, and the older boy drew him in close. They lay side by side, Hyunwoo’s arm resting lazily in the crook of Kihyun’s hip, staring at each other in the dark. The space between them was comfortable; they had been roommates for over a year, now, and they were beyond displays of shyness. In the still of the night, Kihyun reached out his hand and curled his fingers through Hyunwoo’s hair, hesitant at first; but when Hyunwoo did not pull away, he continued, deliberately twirling pieces of the older boy’s hair in his fingers. Their eyes slowly adjusting to the dark, Kihyun saw Hyunwoo’s eyes soften and relax under his touch. 

“That…” Hyunwoo whispered, voice small, careful. “That feels nice,” he held Kihyun’s gaze. His full and pretty lips parted slightly, relaxing further into Kihyun’s embrace. He loosely gripped the fabric of the younger man’s shirt where his hand lay, draped across his hip. Kihyun blushed a little at the gentle praise and nestled slightly further into Hyunwoo.  _ What am I doing…? _ Kihyun caught himself wondering.  _ What are we doing…? _ His heart began to beat just a little harder, and he saw himself take Hyunwoo’s chin in his hand and pressed a kiss to his leader’s lips. Hyunwoo sighed softly into the kiss, and drew Kihyun in closer, entwining their legs under the covers. _He tastes so sweet, just like the last time..._ in that moment, neither boy thought about what they were doing; it felt at once alien and the most natural thing in the world. Before long, the kisses grew slower and softer, as they began to fall asleep at last. 

*

When the new day made herself known and the sun shone through the window, nudging the boys awake, Hyunwoo was the first to slip down off his top bunk and into the washroom. He stood in front of the mirror for what seemed like ages, staring at himself.  _ What's  _ _ happening to me? _ He implored his reflection.  _ Maybe if we don’t talk about it, these feelings will go away.  _ He splashed water on his face, half in an effort to wake himself up, half to banish the memory of the previous night; perhaps to wash the taste of Kihyun’s lips off of his own. 

The sound of running water woke Kihyun next, and when he stretched in Hyunwoo’s bed to find that he wasn’t there, he sighed. 

That sigh awoke Hoseok, who pretended he was still asleep - but he saw the look on Kihyun’s face, and it made his heart ache.  _ I wonder when these two will figure themselves out,  _ he thought. 


	3. Follow Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is rated E for Explicit, pls skip ahead if you're uncomfortable with that! Thank you!

The hotel hallway was absolutely buzzing - the show had been a total success, and the seven boys rallied around each other, practically bouncing off the walls and whooping with excitement, the residual adrenaline fighting to leave their bodies. Their managers bid the boys goodnight, not especially wanting to babysit them in this state - after a show, they were worse than drunk children; laughing, and excitable, and loud. Having successfully slipped away from the watchful eyes of their handlers, the boys all piled into Hyunwoo’s room to host a quick VLive - even though they’d just spent the last few hours with their fans, they didn’t want to say goodnight to them just quite yet. 

*

“Right,” Hyungwon pronounced at last as they ended the broadcast and tossed the phone down onto the bed, head lolling against Hoseok’s back. “Now it really is time for sleep,” he ran a very tired hand through his hair. 

The others nodded in satisfied agreement. They hugged and kissed each other goodnight, and in their pairs, they left Hyunwoo’s room until it was just Kihyun and Hyunwoo left. They looked at each other, a strange sort of edge to the air between them. Hyunwoo cleared his throat. “You can shower first,” he said, gesturing vaguely to the washroom. He rubbed the small of his back with his other hand - Kihyun picked up on the slight wince in his face as he rolled his knuckles against his skin. 

“What’s wrong?” he asked, voice all concern. 

“It’s nothing,” Hyunwoo shrugged it off. “I guess I just went a little too hard during the encore.” He averted his eyes, not wanting to see the look of worry in Kihyun’s wide, shining eyes. 

Kihyun moved towards him, gently taking hold of Hyunwoo’s balled-up fist. “It’s not nothing,” he said, “if you try to fix your back like that, you’ll just end up hurting yourself more, and we still have shows to do. Let me have a look at it.” He pointed to the bed with his chin. “Let me try and loosen the knots,” he suggested warmly. “Then, go have a hot shower to ease your muscles.” 

Hyunwoo knew that tone; it was no use arguing; and, truth be told, he really could use a proper massage. He climbed onto the bed, and let out an involuntary exhalation of delight at how luxurious the bed was. He flopped onto it, burying his head in the plush, soft down pillow, and groaned theatrically. Kihyun laughed. 

_ “God,” _ Hyunwoo crooned, “this bed is so fucking comfortable,” he was exhausted. “Seriously, we should steal these pillows and take them back home with us.” 

Kihyun smiled. “Maybe,” he indulged his leader’s childishness and agreed with him, as he carefully straddled Hyunwoo’s hips. “Oh, wait. Do you have like… lotion or anything?” He wondered aloud. 

“On the bathroom counter,” Hyunwoo replied, face still squarely buried in the soft pillow. 

Kihyun gently whacked Hyunwoo’s ass. “You could have mentioned that before I got up here!” he laughed. “Be right back,” he said, slipping off of Hyunwoo and went to retrieve the lotion. Hyunwoo smiled as he heard Kihyun banging around, trying to find it. “Found it!” he called from the washroom. When he returned, Hyunwoo had slipped off his baggy post-concert shirt and let it fall to the floor. Kihyun couldn’t help but marvel at how pretty Hyunwoo’s olive skin was, made warm to the touch, and flushed by their intense workout of the last few hours. He swallowed hard and resumed his position on top of Hyunwoo, resisting the urge to bounce on him like a child. He squeezed some lotion onto his palms and warmed it through, rubbing his hands together before placing them on Hyunwoo’s skin. “Ready?” he asked, his voice almost a reverent whisper. 

“Mmm,” Hyunwoo’s response came from somewhere in his throat. He shifted a little and snaked his arms under the pillow, turning his head to the side. “Go easy on me, I’m an old man,” he joked. 

“Tsch,” Kihyun scoffed. “Okay, grandpa,” he began to press down on the small of his back. He immediately located the knots in the small of his back, and almost felt bad for the little noises of pain he wrung from Hyunwoo’s tired lips. “Sorry,” he murmured apologetically, as he continued to roll his knuckles into the knots. “How long have you been hiding this? Your back muscles are so tense,” he asked, knowing that it must have been a while. 

Hyunwoo sighed. “My back started hurting before we left Korea,” he admitted. “It’s nothing. I’ll be fine--”

_ “Stop it,” _ Kihyun interrupted, his tone suddenly harsh, admonishing. “Don’t do this. I hate when you do this,” Kihyun adjusted the pressure in his hands and began to move up and down Hyunwoo’s back. “You never tell us what’s going on with you,” he sighed, splaying his fingers and dragging his palms up to his shoulder blades, focusing pressure into his fingertips. “And then you end up suffering alone. It’s not  _ good, _ hyung,” Kihyun began massaging Hyunwoo’s shoulders, his own back hunched over so their faces were close. He sighed again. “I hate this,” he sighed. “I hate you, sometimes.” 

Hyunwoo was confused by the sudden admonition. “Hate…?” he wondered aloud, suddenly hurt. “Me?” He suddenly propped himself up on his elbows, and Kihyun was gently toppled off his perch across Hyunwoo’s slim waist and rolled onto the bed next to him. He shook his head and sighed. Hyunwoo turned onto his back, mirroring Kihyun. 

“I don’t hate  _ you,  _ hyung, not really. Obviously I don’t,” he turned his head to look at his leader. “I just… I don’t get you, sometimes. We’ve been through so much, all of us. We live together, shower together, eat together,” his tone changed, from frustrated to a little sad. Hyunwoo’s heart ached to listen to him. “Hyung, we all love each other so much. So…  _ why _ do you do it? You don’t open up to us,” his eyes grew soft, but serious. “You don’t… you don’t tell  _ me _ things. Why don’t you tell me?”  _ After everything we’ve been through, the moments we’ve hidden from the others… why can’t you tell me? _

Hyunwoo understood; unthinkingly, he laced their fingers together. “I’m sorry, Ki,” he said, at last, voice made small. “I won’t hide when I’m in pain anymore.” He gently squeezed Kihyun’s hand in his, the gesture sealing his promise. He brought Kihyun’s hand to his lips and hesitated for the briefest moment before softly kissing his knuckles, their fingers still entwined. “Forgive me?” he asked, looking into Kihyun’s eyes. “Thank you, for…” he managed a little smile. “Thanks for taking care of me, even when I don’t deserve it.” He rested their hands on his chest, and for a moment, they lay there in silence, just looking at each other and saying nothing, their entwined hands rising and falling atop Hyunwoo’s bare chest. 

Kihyun turned onto his side to better face Hyunwoo, and curled his legs inward a little. With his free hand, he traced little lines across the expanse of Hyunwoo’s bare skin, watching how he left a trail of goosebumps in his wake. “Are you cold?” He asked, the frustration completely having melted from his voice. 

_ His eyes are so pretty, _ Hyunwoo thought. He shook his head no. “If I was, would you warm me up?” he asked, a silly smile on his tired face. Kihyun laughed a little and flicked his chest. They looked at each other then, and something in the air changed. Where before there had been a sharp edge to the space between them, it seemed now more like a warm, honeyed embrace. Kihyun shifted his head imperceptibly closer to Hyunwoo’s face and kept his hand atop his chest. 

Hyunwoo’s eyes kept flitting from Kihyun’s lips to his eyes and back again. He turned onto his side, and gently let go of Kihyun’s hand - moving instead to cup his cheek and bring their faces closer. “Ki…” he breathed softly, searching Kihyun’s eyes - for what? Permission, perhaps - before closing the space between them with a kiss. This time, the kiss was not soft, not nervous, or tentative. Kihyun melted into Hyunwoo’s kiss, moaning softly as he let the older man deepen it. He bit at Hyunwoo’s pillow lips, and it made his leader laugh into the kiss - the little smirk sent a shiver through Kihyun’s entire body. 

Suddenly, his hands were in Hyunwoo’s hair; he let his leader’s hands travel underneath his baggy shirt, tracing lines across his back and sides. Kihyun pressed their hips together, and a soft groan escaped Hyunwoo, feeling the desire building between them. Without breaking the kiss, Hyunwoo tugged gently on Kihyun’s shirt. “Take it off,” he murmured against Kihyun’s lips. “Please,” he held Kihyun’s gaze, eyes darkened with want. Kihyun obeyed, and quickly slipped off his shirt, letting it fall to the floor beneath them. Hyunwoo’s hands were on him in a flash, strong and purposeful. He rolled on top of him, caging him in with strong arms and pushing his thigh between Kihyun’s legs. He began to kiss along Kihyun’s jaw, tilting his chin with a gentle hand, exposing his long neck - Hyunwoo kissed down the soft, milky white skin slowly, sucking gently so he wouldn’t leave a mark; but just tantalizingly enough to make Kihyun squirm happily beneath him, breathy laughter escaping his parted lips, showing off his pretty canines in an open-mouthed grin. Hyunwoo let Kihyun’s hands find their way to the waistband of his sweatpants, fingertips gently ticking the sensitive skin there. Their eyes met, and between them, they understood. Kihyun slipped his hand beneath the waistband and ran a delicate finger along Hyunwoo’s quickly hardening length, and it made both men groan, anticipation hanging heavy in the air. 

This was something new - they’d never gone this far before, and both men wordlessly agreed to keep going. Hyunwoo pulled on the fabric of Kihyun’s baggy shorts, inching the waistband lower, trying to concentrate while Kihyun began to palm his erection through his boxers. He buckled a little, and it made Kihyun smirk - he kept going, his hands growing more confident. He looked at Hyunwoo and purred, “take them off for me, won’t you?” he pointed with his chin at Hyunwoo’s sweatpants. 

The older boy lolled his head against Kihyun’s shoulder, slipping them off. Kihyun suddenly felt bold - it wasn’t his first time with a man, but he wasn’t sure about Hyunwoo - he turned the older boy down onto his back, and climbed atop him. “Hyung,” he cooed in his ear, kissing along his jaw and down his neck. “Let me take care of you,” he took hold of Hyunwoo’s chin and kissed him then, deliberately, slowly, feeling him relax under his touch. With one hand, he caressed Hyunwoo’s cheek and let his fingers wander back up through to his hair; with the other, he traced a delicate line down his chest and stomach and teased the elastic of his boxers again. 

Kihyun smiled. He could see, could feel, how much the older boy wanted him - but he still wanted to make sure he was ready. His eyes searched for consent in the older boy’s face; Hyunwoo nodded his head, eyes heavy-lidded with desire. With that, Kihyun dipped his hand beneath the fabric and slowly pulled his boxers down, Hyunwoo’s defined Adonis belt exposed at last. Kihyun began to kiss down Hyunwoo’s stomach, enjoying every soft moan that spilled from his lips. He took hold of Hyunwoo’s length at last, stroking languidly, allowing his leader to become accustomed to the feeling of someone else’s hands. Hyunwoo arched his back at the electric feeling, and he clawed a little at the sheets beneath him. 

Kihyun smiled at the reaction and knew it was alright to keep going. He wet his lips a little before taking him into his mouth, a feeling that Hyunwoo wasn’t expecting. He slowly bobbed his head up and down, letting Hyunwoo lace his fingers through his hair as he did so. He could feel his leader’s thighs begin to quiver a little, but he didn’t want him to come just yet. He pulled off of him with a last, lolling swipe of his tongue and crawled back up to kiss him. Hyunwoo crashed their mouths together, their bodies rushing at each other like waves on the shore. “Kihyun… you…” he managed to breathe in between kisses. He was dizzy - they’d never done anything like that before, and he didn’t especially want to stop. “What do I…” he began to ask, but Kihyun shushed him with a playful finger. 

“Don’t have to do anything,” Kihyun cooed, kissing him gently. “Lie back,” he instructed. He slipped off his own boxers, tossing them to the floor to lie with the rest of their discarded clothes. He straddled Hyunwoo’s hips again, stroking the older boy’s length with one hand and wetting the fingers of his other hand with a practiced tongue. Hyunwoo’s head lolled against the pillow, his body washed with pleasure as he looked on. Kihyun slowly, carefully began to finger himself, teasing himself open. Hyunwoo’s heat grew harder in his hand as he watched, and it made Kihyun smirk a little.  _ So we’re really doing this, _ he mused.  _ About time, _ he looked down at Hyunwoo through his long lashes, eyes half-closed with lust as he rolled his hips, enticing his leader. He knew he was ready - he removed his fingers and slowly, carefully, eased himself down onto Hyunwoo’s cock, forcing a satisfied moan from the pair, exhaling in delight. 

The leader’s strong hands instinctively gripped Kihyun’s thighs as the younger boy began to rock his hips and take him until the hilt.  _ “Oh… god, _ Kihyun…!” he managed to choke out, his entire body on fire with lust. “You feel incredible…!” he looked up at Kihyun, whose own body was flushed a pretty pink from the praise, and watched him roll his hips into him. The sight was at once too much for him and everything he’d ever wanted - Kihyun was so beautiful, lost in the song their bodies were singing together - a thought struck him.  _ Why the hell haven’t we done this before? God, he’s so… _ and before long, the pair had found a rhythm, and Hyunwoo’s hips thrust upward and into Kihyun, each time he bucked his hips it made the vocalist cry out in delight. 

Hyunwoo was bigger than Kihyun had imagined in his head, but he loved the challenge. He felt so good - the way his strong fingers held fast to his thighs, his nails leaving little crescent moons dug into his muscles; their moans harmonizing like a melody they’d always known but never sung before. Kihyun rested a hand on Hyunwoo’s stomach, grounding him to the other boy. “Hyung, you feel so… you feel so good…” Kihyun praised, rolling his hips as he caressed the flushed, olive skin of his leader.  _ “So good…” _

Hyunwoo felt a familiar tightening in his middle and knew he was close. “Ki, I’m…!” he cautioned, a hand traveling up to hold Kihyun’s hip as he continued thrusting into him. 

“Yeah… that’s it, hyung… good, so good,” Kihyun babbled, losing himself. “Come, hyung, please…” he kept his rhythm, and reached out a hand for Hyunwoo to take. Again, the older boy laced their fingers together. He couldn’t hold back any longer - in a moment, he felt himself spill into Kihyun, who threw his head back and continued to move, slowly, desperately wanting to be filled. At the feeling of Hyunwoo’s hot come spurting inside of him, he, too, released at last. Panting, now, Hyunwoo’s thrusts began to slow, growing more shallow. 

Kihyun collapsed against his chest, the warm, sticky liquid pooling between them - but neither man cared all that much. Catching their breath, wrapped in each other’s arms and stars in their eyes, the pair began to laugh breathlessly. “That was…” Kihyun couldn’t finish his thought; instead, he pressed gentle kisses all along Hyunwoo’s cheek and jaw.

“Yeah,” Hyunwoo agreed, raking a hand through his hair, pushing back his fringe. He gently smoothed Kihyun’s hair away from his forehead, not minding the thin film of sweat that had begun to bead on his porcelain skin. “Kihyun, you… oh my god, you’re  _ incredible,” _ he lolled his head back against the pillow. “I can’t believe we did that.” He kissed Kihyun’s cheek, then his lips. They looked at each other then, eyes finishing the rest of their conversation. 

After a moment, Kihyun propped himself up on his elbows. “Come on, we should shower.” He rolled off the bed and pulled Hyunwoo up to meet him. Hyunwoo gathered the younger man in his arms and kissed him again. 

Beyond the window, the moon sat full and glowing, pregnant with promise, in the black sky. 

*

The next day, Changkyun couldn’t help but notice that Hyunwoo and Kihyun seemed just a little closer than they had the day before. So when, once they reached their next tour stop, Kihyun came to him and asked to swap rooms with him so that he could room with their leader instead, Changkyun agreed. _ I’m glad they’re finally spending more time together, _ he thought happily.  _ Besides, that means I get to share with Hoseokie-hyung. Hyungwonie-hyung is hogging him too much, lately. _

That night, and every subsequent night of their tour, Hyunwoo and Kihyun managed to bribe the others to keep letting them swap rooms to be together. There were a few raised eyebrows, but no one wanted to be the first to bring up the newfound fact of their leader and lead vocalist spending so much quality time together. 


	4. Under The Same Sky

Six months later, and the boys were busy preparing for another comeback. Between the modeling schedules, variety show appearances, and rehearsals that often ran so late that the sun came up before they were able to retire to their beds, days off had grown few and far between. So, when their managers presented them with the chance of an entire weekend free from work or responsibilities, the seven jumped at the chance. 

Their phones turned off and put in a shoebox on the coffee table, everyone donned their fuzziest pajamas and brought out their comforters into the living room. Pillows were fluffed, a selection of films was queued up; takeaway food was ordered. The boys cuddled up with each other, arms and legs draped over each other, noses nuzzling into necks. Changkyun fought for space to share Hoseok with Hyungwon - “my lap isn’t big enough for the both of you!” he’d teased, but somehow still found a way to cuddle them both at the same time. Jooheon and Minhyuk were inseparable as usual, cuddled up into a little pile on the lazy-boy recliner. And Kihyun, his legs draped across Hyunwoo’s lap, curled his fingers absent-mindedly in his leader’s hair; Hyunwoo leaned into Kihyun’s touch, and let his eyes flutter closed before the film was even twenty minutes in. 

Changkyun watched from the corner of his eye how Kihyun nuzzled Hyunwoo’s cheek with his nose, nudging him awake. He watched them whisper to each other, their leader suppressing a giggle over something sweet that was said. He watched how Hyunwoo caressed Kihyun’s calves with strong hands, and Kihyun’s gentle fingers tracing comforting lines along Hyunwoo’s neck. He smiled.  _ The movie is boring, anyway, _ he mused before opening his mouth. His voice cut through the scene, “so,” the interruption caught everyone’s attention, and his eyes moved around the room, eyebrows wiggling. “Are we ever going to talk about the fact that mom and dad are fucking?” 

For a moment, the room was deadly silent. Minhyuk had the good sense to pause the film, and the quiet settled around everyone. Kihyun’s blood ran cold in his veins and he shot a panicked look at Hyunwoo, who’d also gone completely still. They both looked at Changkyun, who seemed utterly unfazed by what he’d just said. 

“So?” Changkyun turned to them, now, a grin on his face. “Am I wrong?” He cocked his head to the side and shushed Hoseok, who opened his mouth to interrupt him. He looked expectantly at the pair, who still hadn’t moved. 

Exhaling, Hyunwoo looked over at Kihyun, who looked back at him with eyes that said, _I_ _guess we have to talk about it,_ and so, he spoke first. “You’re not wrong,” he said finally, looking around the room, and back at Changkyun. “Is it that obvious?” 

Hyungwon spoke up next, hoping to put his leader at ease. “I mean, it’s all fine, right?” He nudged Hoseok, encouraging him to say something. 

“Yeah,” he added, and the others nodded along with him. “I mean… aren’t we all… fucking?” he looked around for confirmation. “At least, I definitely am.” 

Kihyun seemed scandalized. “You  _ what?!” _ he shot his balled-up hoodie, aimed for Hoseok but it fell short, and made everyone laugh.  _ “Who?!” _

It was Hoseok’s turn to blush a little. He looked at Hyungwon and then Changkyun. “I thought you knew,” he pouted. “It’s not like we try to hide it.” Both Hyungwon and Changkyun had little satisfied smirks on their faces. 

_ “What?!” _ Kihyun said again, still confused. He turned to Hyunwoo. “Did you know that they were---” he didn’t finish. 

Hyunwoo thought about it for a moment. “I mean,” he ran a hand through his hair, collecting his thoughts. “I guess I sort of knew. But I was too preoccupied with trying to keep us a secret that I didn’t really think about it.”

Jooheon lifted his head from its resting spot in the crook of Minhyuk’s neck. “Huh,” he mused aloud. “So, it’s official, then?” He took a swig of peach soju from the bottle he was sharing with Minhyuk. “No more secrets?” He kissed Minhyuk’s cheek and offered him the bottle. 

Minhyuk took it and drank. “Honeybee and I were placing bets on when it would all finally come out,” he explained. “Looks like I won,” he shot the young boy a cheesy grin. “You owe me dinner, baby,” he cooed. 

Jooheon pouted. “That’s not fair!” he laughed. “I would have won if Kyun didn’t force the conversation,” he feigned upset with the maknae. “This is all your fault,” he stuck his tongue out at Changkyun. Changkyun flipped him the finger in return, blowing a kiss. Hoseok playfully smacked his shoulder. 

Kihyun looked at Hyunwoo again, feeling somehow lighter. He looked around the room, entwining their hands. “So… this is all fine, right?” he asked, knowing the answer was yes, but still, he needed to hear it. 

“Of course it is,” Changkyun smiled, and tossed him a packet of cuttlefish crackers. “I was just tired of watching you two skirt around us for so long. Just be open, okay? No more hiding. We’ve all got each other, in the end.”

“My handsome boy is so wise,” Hyungwon cooed, taking Changkyun’s chin in hand and kissing his cheek. 

The seven shared a gentle, understanding laugh; and with the matter settled Minhyuk hit ‘play,’ and they continued their movie marathon like nothing had changed. 

Hyunwoo drew Kihyun close and pressed gentle kisses to his cheek. “You alright?” he asked, wanting to make sure everything was okay. 

Kihyun smiled from the very middle of himself and squeezed Hyunwoo’s hand. “Yeah,” he whispered back. “I’m perfect.” He turned to properly face his leader, and kissed him slowly, softly. “Everything’s perfect.” 


End file.
